I usually categorize myself as a fat girl which to me is the same as “thick” but now more well-known as a “thickums”. I definitely think being a size 36/38 makes me full-figured so you can argue with your mother if you disagree. I know I’m not exactly the thickest girl so I definitely don’t think I fall under plus-size but I don’t think I fall under slim-framed either. However, I’m all about the full-figured women and I come from a family of full-figured women. I also have a few close friends and siblings that are fat and fabulous. And because of this, I’m accustomed to the type of challenges that full-figured women tend to go through. A lot of these challenges are caused by society, by you (you, the one reading this right now). And here’s the thing, I know people don’t do it on purpose when they step on full-figured women’s toes with their comments, remarks and general behavior nonetheless it happens. Again, I’ve come to help out, spread my wisdom and raise awareness. Fasten your seat belts boys and girls – you’re about to get schooled on the FAT FIVE, here we go…
1. Fat is not a derogatory word: Oh, my sweet baby Jesus! The word “fat” is not something that we should tip toe around. I know a few of my friends who choke on their own words when they realize they almost used the word “fat” to describe me. I think this is funny. Fat does not equate to ugly and I need for all of us to understand this simple math. Fat is a word used to describe someone’s body size. Just like how you wouldn’t expect a black girl to be offended if you called her black. Can we stop attaching negative implications to the word “fat”. Now say it with me; FAT, FAT, FAT!
2. Tell it like it is: For some odd reason people find it difficult to tell a thickums that something doesn’t look good on her. It’s so selfish how some of you would rather lie and say something looks good on a thick girl, only because you’re scared she might think you’re turning it down because she’s thick. The absolute truth of it is that if something does not look good on someone it could be because of many things. A mature, self-loving thickums will not take offense to such things, don’t be afraid to tell your full-figured friend when something just isn’t working on them.
3. Don’t look at me funny when I’m ordering food: I honest to godly have experienced this a number of times. It’s the craziest thing, when I order too much – it’s assumed that I’m thick because I have an eating problem. When I order a salad, it’s assumed I’m trying to lose weight or starving myself. What do you want from me? I’m hungry that’s all there is. People need to understand that being thick isn’t new to the person with the thick body. I know I’m thick, also I know exactly what I’m ordering and how it will affect me and my weight. The weird judgmental looks are unnecessary and uncomfortable for both of us.
4. Thick girls need love too: Wow. This one is close to my heart. Just because someone is thick doesn’t mean they have to be alone. I’m thick for a reason, I have so much of me to go around. I have a thick heart that just wants to give this love away. Here’s another thing, it’s absolutely okay for a thick girl to be with a toned guy (I wanted to use the word skinny but you all are always trying to be offended by something on the internet *rolls eyes*). She will not squash him, I repeat – SHE WILL NOT SQUASH HIM! Thick girls need to stop being apologetic for being loved by all kinds of men. It is your God-given right to be loved, every inch and cellulite. Anyone who makes you feel like that’s not true needs to cancel themselves.
5. Don’t create awkward moments: This is annoying. I absolutely dislike it when my skinny friends pretend as though they don’t know that I’m at least 15kg’s heavier than them and there are just some things that I WILL NOT DO. Operative word here being “will not”, I didn’t say “cannot”. Example; I will not wear shorts in public so don’t suggest we all wear shorts. I don’t know why people suggest things that they know probably won’t work out for a thick girl. It’s super difficult for a thick girl to take the stairs, don’t suggest it. Be reasonable and think carefully about what you’re about to say.
I said what I said. You’ve been schooled. Don’t say I never did anything for you.
KADAN – (n) “where the heart lies”, an all-purpose word for a person one cares about, including friends, family and loved ones.