Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with being single. Absolutely nothing. Whether by choice or circumstances, it’s completely normal and acceptable in society.
I have a few friends who are really worried with the fact that they’re single, which is something I don’t understand to be honest. Inviting a whole other human into your life and space is a big deal, or at least it should be. Also, I don’t think it’s possible to “relationship” if you’ve never been single long enough to know what you want in a relationship.
I feel as though most of us (myself included) never fully soak in our singlehood, most times we’re just waiting for the next person to show up and relationship all over again. Being single has become somewhat of a waiting room and we can’t wait for it to be over, and this isn’t how it’s meant to be. Being single is a relationship of its own. A relationship with one’s self, which needs as much effort as a relationship with a significant other. So, as usual I’m here to help you guys out (like I often do) with how to be single – It’s simple really:
- Acceptance: Accept that you are single and there’s not much you can do about it. If someone wanted you, they would have approached you by now – trust me. Stop thinking that being single is abnormal or something to be embarrassed about. Consider yourself somewhat exclusive and unattainable. There’s nothing worse than being single and wishing you weren’t, it’s unnecessary stress and it doesn’t really change anything. It’s better to accept that you are single and be at peace with being alone without thinking you’re lonely.
- Spend time with yourself: Go out and have fun, BY YOURSELF. Eat out at a fancy restaurant that you’d never afford on a regular day. Spoil yourself with gifts and pamper yourself. You seriously don’t have to wait for someone to do all these things for you when you’re capable of doing them yourself. Do all the things you’ve been putting off for a later time, do them now and create milestones for yourself.
- Work hard: I’m not saying that people who are in relationships don’t work hard, that’s not at all what I’m saying. However, the reality is that when you’re in a relationship you have to consider that a quarter of your time is spent on someone else. Use that time to build up your career, work on your academics and increase your intellectual capacity. I mean, you gotta have something to talk about when you eventually get into a relationship – something worth listening to.
- Travel: There are so many places that you can go to that are within your country, and in your province that you’ve never really considered to go to. Consider them, look them up and travel. See a different way of life than the one you’re used to. Hear people speak a different language and absorb different cultures. Expand your horizon and get out of your comfort zone. You never know, you might even come across your future bae while you’re traveling.
- Celebrate love: Don’t be that bitter single person who is always negative about relationships and love just because they’re single. You attract what you speak, make sure that youre attracting positive energy when it comes to love. Don’t be jealous of friends/family who are succeeding at “relationshiping”, you’ll only be isolating yourself from people who need your support and love.
- Move on: Move on from past relationships & their experiences. Don’t harbor bitterness and unforgiveness. If you harbor such feelings you’ll only ruin your next relationship or better yet – hinder it. if you don’t move on you’ll always look at potential relationships with the eyes of the past hurt & failures.
- Meet new people: Be open to meeting new people. Don’t be uptight and unpleasant just because you’re single. There’s nothing wrong with going on dates (who doesn’t want FREE FOOD) and being hit on once in a while. Enjoy the attention and soak in the confidence it gives you.
- Long Term Relationship Pussy: The line between being single and being a hoe is very thin. Be very careful not to cross it (Unless of course that is the intention.) Don’t let randoms stick their hands in your cookie jar until you have nothing but crumbs for the right person. LTRP is important and it makes the single experience worthwhile.
Honestly, I feel like I’ve dropped some real wisdom here and if you apply these pointers you’ll get the most out of being single. Make the choice to live fully NOW, beyond any self-imposed boundaries, with a clear mind and open heart.
KADAN – (n) “where the heart lies”, an all-purpose word for a person one cares about, including friends, family and loved ones.