I remember our pastor warning us as we sat in pre-marital counselling saying “whatever you do, make sure this process brings you together – because it has torn couples apart”. At the time I really didn’t pay much attention to it. We are planning a wedding (weddings if you’re black) – joining two families and celebrating our love. How can that possibly tear us apart?
Boy oh boy, the road to the altar is a damn bumpy one! If it wasn’t our parents being divas about the guest list, it was the realisation that weddings cost way more than we imagined even if you have saved. Coupled with that – we still had jobs to attend to, a social life to maintain, and a relationship to sustain (the reason why we’re having a wedding in the first place – kinda hard to keep in mind, right?). I cannot tell you how many times I asked myself “why are we doing this again?”, because trust me you will forget. Somehow in the process, your dress becomes the centre of your being, the guest list the topic of every dinner conversation, a dwindling budget the source of every argument – all this for the best day of your life? I think the last straw was me crying about overpriced favours that I convinced myself I NEEDED to make the day perfect. Sounds rather terrifying, right?
To be honest with you, I barely remember most of my wedding day – even though I hear it was beautiful (I know, I’m awful). I haven’t even watched the whole wedding video to remind myself of the day (yes, I’m terrible). Because when I think about it, what was special about that day was not the dress, or the decor, or the wedding favours (which I eventually had to forego).
What is special is that we survived, and we wake up every day knowing there is someone who would give the world to make the other smile, and that every night we get to celebrate the fact that we’ve seen another day through and have someone to share that with.
The wedding planning process is like a fast-forward, roller coaster sneak peak into marriage itself – if you can silence the “haters”, stay true to why you are together in the first place (and Who is at the centre), and really get back to basics of your connection, it really doesn’t matter who was there or not, what the food was like, or whether you made wedding of the year. What matters is that every day is special because you have each other. Here’s to years of special days…
Featured image: OR Photography SA