I was praying the other night and I was asking God to protect me from these ‘stupid little boys’ (DON’T ASK) then I laughed and quickly apologized to Him because I realized ‘they are Your sons and You love them’, 😂 After more chuckles I found myself leaning toward starting ‘The talk’ with Him, ‘The boyfriend talk’ and WOW even with God it was a weird thing.
You see, most of the time when I pray, I speak to God just like I would my Dad. It’s very casual. It’s just a nice chat (I even blow goodnight kisses afterwards and hope they make it to heaven). So I found this particular conversation awkward and embarrassing. Very very awkward. Very very embarrassing 🙈 It reminded me of a time last year when I was called up at my hometown church to ask God for the things I want in life. I stood in front of the congregation and shared my dreams and wishes, it was all good and well until I was done but the rest of the congregation looked at me funny, like I had left something out. I was very confused and didn’t catch on until my cousin whispered that I didn’t ask for a husband. If I was a white girl I would have turned red in the face because I immediately started blushing and felt very uncomfortable. My mom was sitting right in front of me and it just felt like I would be talking about boys in front of elders. Needless to say, I was very happy to finally take my seat.
I’ve never been able to pray for a boyfriend/husband before. I’d only start the praying once I’m in the relationship. The idea of doing it before has always just felt weird to me. As if I’m doing something naughty (And I’m not one to do naughty things). I’ve never wanted old people involved in my dating affairs so it just felt no different with God, if not worse. I ended up mumbling a very quick ‘please send a decent one my way’ 😂 and spent a few minutes just laughing at myself. When I was done I ended up thinking about what my ‘Ideal man‘ is and I was very disappointed in myself because quite frankly, I haven’t a clue (besides the default tall, dark & handsome thing). I figured I might not have a ‘type’ because life has taught me that what I used to think was my type really wasn’t for me, and the ones that I never, in a million years would ever expect to be who/what I like, end up stealing my heart. Or maybe it’s just because I’ve been out the game for too long and this dating thing has become way too tricky (shaking my head – SMH).
I’ve since decided that I’m going to be a big girl and write a list of qualities and attributes of what I’d like in a husband, as I go along. I haven’t started, but I plan to. And maybe, just maybe when I’ve figured that out I’ll come back and have this conversation with Bab God with receipts in hand. I’m hoping that will make it less awkward because I will know what to say! And I do think praying for a husband, like I do all the other things in my life, is the way I should go about it. For now though, the only things that I’m sure of are the things I DON’T want in a man! And that, ladies and gentlemen is a story for another day.