So I was at a party the other night with my Caucasian friends where we found ourselves getting deep with racial and cultural issues concerning our hair. On the surface this is a cliché’ topic that’s popular world-wide as our politics seem to have taken a scary turn, leaving the nation vulnerable and unsure. However when you look deeper into these issues you start understanding and seeing that all this bickering really isn’t about race or culture but rather self-insecurity.
What do I mean by this?
First lets define the concept -“insecurity”.To be insecure is to be or feel unsafe, threatened, intimidated or in danger meaning when a person is feeling insecure they either feel in danger or threatened or unsafe from something or someone. This feeling of insecurity may cause different reactions from different people based on their personality traits.
A person might have a violent response if they feel endangered and try to defend themselves whilst another person might surrender to a situation due to feeling hopeless in it. Now because of such reactions a person may then learn a preventative defense mechanism of being the one to threaten first which then leads to a toxic way of relating to people as the individual may come across as rude and offending to others.
When a person feels insecure its not necessarily due to the other person as the cause ,but because of their own issues which are not related but somehow the feeling of something new or different brings back the same feeling they felt when they felt threatened or unsafe. This then brings us to the reason why we have women making other women feel insecure by intimidating them and making them feel insecure about themselves which is nothing more than a cover up of their weakness that is not a cover up but an exposure of the very same insecurities they are trying to cover up whilst hurting someone else’s feelings.
This brings us back to the party I went to with my friends. You see in that deep conversation I learnt that its not just the Caucasians hating African hair as but they themselves don’t like one another’s hair to a point that one of my friend decided to straighten her frilled hair because apparently its untidy yet to my eyes her hair looked amazing. She even died it black so she could look like a brunette which made me realize just how much we dislike ourselves as women. And that’s not fair. Its not fair on us and its not fair on the world because we are robbing the world of our greatness by letting it put us down and putting each other down.
Woman its time you realize how much of a life you carry. You are the most significant creature on this planet. No one can multi task like we do which is an indication of our strength and intelligence. We have been given a position of being the neck in our families for the very same reason mentioned above. Without the neck, the head can’t move. The body itself has no connection with the head without the neck meaning we are a vital part of the family system which applies to everything else around us. Without a woman the world cannot function.
So let us love ourselves and each other. Don’t let the world put you down because you are great. Don’t let it deceive you into thinking we are one another’s competition. Tell yourself that your hair is beautiful, your freckle makes you unique, your skin makes you stand out and your soul makes you significant. Instead of making another woman feel insecure, focus on making yourself secure by uplifting accepting who you are and understanding that those things you dislike about yourself are the very same things that make you stand out.
So do yourself this one favour today and tell yourself that you woke up this morning to conquer and you will. Your middle name is fearless and you will boldly take your place in this world and as miss Queen Bey says “slay it”. Rise up woman and stand up, stand out and step in. This is your playground.
Featured image by Daniellethomas.co