How to hold a conversation

One of the things that are continuously being made evident to me is that not everyone is interested in, and therefore not good at, having a conversation with another person. And I do mean having an actual, proper conversation. You know the type of convo which you leave feeling like you’re so much closer to that person? Like you know so much more about them? Or that you understand them more?

Now this is not to say I know ALL the right things to talk about or show interest in when in conversation. Though I was taught good manners from a young age, and I am aware that you can read a person just from having a conversation with them. Think about it, how many times have you ran into an old friend in town and you both cover your greetings but when it comes to the “How are you?” question you feel rushed to give a summarised version of the actual answer? When it comes to making and keeping conversation it too often feels like ain’t nobody got time for that!

Here are some things to look out for when interacting with people, whether it’s your bff or just a distant colleague:

Greet people with a smile

I love the power of a smile! Not only does it prettify your own face but it also reads as the perfect greeting to the person you’re gifting it to, so come on and show the corners of your mouth more why don’t you?

Ask people how they are

Do this and actually listen to the answer. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked “How are you?” but when I raise my head to give an answer the person who asked is already out the door 😣 Oh Lord knows I always give a little prayer in order to survive such moments. Truth is it comes across as very rude, just take a few seconds of your precious time and listen to the answer!

Share how you are

Listen to other people’s answers to the “How are you?” question, automatically gives you an invitation to share how you are feeling too so don’t be afraid to do so. Go ahead, how are you?

Express gratitude – give a compliment

This is a wonderful way to start, hold and to end off conversation. A compliment never hurts anyone and they are free so why not?

Don’t lie

This especially counts when you’re giving compliments, don’t lie! Woah I have overheard so many compliments that made me think I have a definite eye problem. You as much as we want to be nice, let’s not lie people. If there’s nothing nice to compliment on, talk about the weather 🌤😂

Say your goodbyes

After your nice, brief interaction always remember to make it clear that the convo is OVER. This is unbelievably important, if not done you might find yourself in a never ending conversation, where people are just going in circles. And the beat goes on, and on, and on… End it! With a smile ❤️

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